Blessings to all!  I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been dealing with sinus/flu, etc. Ben is to have a Colonoscopy this coming Thursday (Aug. 20th, 2015). UGH! Please pray with us that all goes well for him. He has had problems that require such a procedure…so at his age (53)…it needs to be done. Also, he’s had increasing tremors in his arms when he raises them to hold or pour something.  So, they’ve put him on 120 mg of Propanolol daily (up from 80 mg) to hopefully help decrease that involuntary impulse. Age and medications are beginning to take their toll on him. We’re praying and thanking  God that His mercies will prevail in Ben’s behalf!  

Update–2/5/2016–Ben cooperated fully with the “prep”–got along fine with the colonoscopy, and the report was GOOD!  Thanks so much for your prayers.  Thankfully, he “chug-a-lugs” whatever you give him to drink. I never dreamed that would be a blessing-Ha!  When he was home at Christmas, the tremor in his arms/hands was still there, but not as noticeable, so that was good too!

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I just got back from a trip to Conway, AR (from Tulsa) to take our son, Ben (52 yr. old) out overnight for a visit.  Because of other obligations, it wasn’t possible to bring him home this time, so we settled for the shorter version.  We have done this before…taken him  to a hotel that has a separate bedroom  and a divan that makes into a bed.  He has always seemed to enjoy that!  We always eat dinner out (at Chili’s) and shop at the Mall nearby.  (I wish I had taken a video of Ben watching the waitresses come out of the kitchen with the trays of food.  Each time, he had that hopeful look on his face that they were bringing HIS.  He was patient, but seemed happy for the people that WERE getting theirs—Ha! 

This time, I was alone, as it was “tax season” and my husband was busy turning out tax returns.  I’ve never taken Ben out overnight by myself.  Thankfully, he did GREAT, but it was the taking him back to his living unit this morning that was really hard…for me, at least.  Maybe Ben doesn’t think the same way I/we do.  Maybe he is used to his living quarters, and just glad to have a short break from it overnight.  BUT, for me…I hated just having one evening with him, and not having him come home with me.  I love watching him swing on the patio on a beautiful Spring day…seeing him observe the leaves swaying in the breeze (the whole time, wearing that “knowing” smile on his face).  The fact that it was Easter weekend, and that tomorrow there would be beautiful music and wonderful preaching at our church that Ben would enjoy was hard for me too.  Also, the fact that the living unit was empty except for staff  when I took him back in, and that he went immediately into his room by himself added to my “forlorn” feeling.  What was he thinking?  Did he feel like Scrooge did when he was left at the school in his youth all by himself on a holiday?  You’d think that after 49 years…I’d quit wondering about things like that…but the questions never seem to cease.  I called from Ozark, AR on my way home and asked how things had gone after I left, and thankfully, all was still calm!  That helped a LOT, but didn’t erase my motherly sadness at leaving Ben…since he can’t express what’s he’s feeling.   I could drive myself crazy trying to figure it all out, and I KNOW that, and can usually guard against it…but today was HARD!   I had to go over in my mind’s eye ALL that we have to be thankful for in the case of Ben’s autism through the years.

  1. He has a place to live where they love and care about him and take good care of him medically.
  2. We are healthy enough to continue to see to him and visit him…and usually, to have him home for visits.
  3. He can walk, take care of many of his own needs, talk some, understand most of what is said to him, He is able to go out to eat…to the hotel, blend in with society (most usually), and knows who we are, and is happy to see us, and NEVER forgets the routine of each place we visit.
  4. God has been gracious and loving to provide “His friends” at the most-needed times for Ben.
  5. Ben remembers all his relatives (even though he doesn’t see them often).
  6. He is a sweet gentleman 99 & 9/10% of the time, and a joy to have around.
  7. And the list goes on and on of things to be thankful for…I can’t even list them all!

Still, it hurts, and there’s no getting around it.  What happened to our baby boy to make this strange malady overtake him and his life…and ours with it?  We will probably never know in this lifetime.  BUT, when we get to heaven and have our “imperishable” bodies…we will see Ben in his “wholeness” and complete healing.  What a joy that will be…to communicate with him with NO earthly limitations!


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Giving My Testimony

A happy time indeed!

A happy time indeed!

I was given the opportunity to give my Christian Testimony concerning Autism last Tuesday (March 10th) at the Tulsa Women’s Connection #1.  What a joy!  I pray the Lord will take what was shared and use it in a mighty way to His Glory!  I have no way of knowing how it affected those who listened, for I do not know what hurts and burdens they carried in the door with them, nor what their deepest needs are.  But, GOD knows, and by His Holy Spirit…can touch hearts.  They may not even realize as they listen how it is speaking to them, but God promises us that His Word will not return to Him void (Isaiah 55:11)…so it can be ministering to them days afterwards.  The Holy Spirit can bring it to their remembrance (John 14:26).  Sometimes, we get caught up in whether a person attending makes a little check mark that they received Jesus that day and hour.  That would be wonderful and we would surely welcome it…but we have to leave it in Jesus’ hands, trusting Him for the outcome.  I am just happy that I got to share what Jesus can do with a life…even THROUGH THE TRIALS.  I get to do this again in Kansas City, KS on May 18th, and again in Clinton, MO on May 19th.  I pray that hearts are being prepared ahead of time to receive the Gospel, and that lives will be transformed…out of darkness…into the light!

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New Med Working–A Calm Respite

We just had Ben’s yearly staffing meeting on Thursday 2/19/15. They are so organized at the Center where he lives, and had a staff person from every area of his life to tell us how he was doing.  The GOOD NEWS is that he has had 3 good months with no aggressive behavior since he was put on 1.5mg a day of Risperadone (along with MANY prayers).  He DID get to come home for Christmas in that time period and did GREAT! Just had to post this in praise to God for a calm respite for Ben AND for us!

Ben (L), Maureen & John Christmas, 2014

Ben (L), Maureen & John Christmas, 2014

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A Scripture For Encouragement In Dealing With Autism

I read this Scripture again today (from the LIVING BIBLE), and found that I had written dates beside it–claiming it–in 1980, 1984, and again in 1987.  I have continued all through these following years to claim it, and thought it might be of help to you who are also dealing with the problems and heartaches of Autism.  God bless you and your loved ones, and may it speak to you…deep down in your souls!  

Romans 5: 3-5

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us–they help us learn to be patient.  And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.  Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

In the beginning verses of that chapter (1 & 2) it says, “So now, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith in his promises, we can have real peace with Him because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.  For because of our faith, He has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has had in mind for us to be.”

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Autism — Ben Understood About My Health–By: CNS

Ben & Me--2014

Ben & Me–2014

When Ben was home at Christmas, I honestly told him that I couldn’t do the things with him that we usually do together–i.e. shop, get in and out of the car, and go, go, go, etc. My back hurt too bad.  He seemed to understand fully, and was patient and calm.  We also didn’t keep him at home as long as usual because of my health (6 days instead of 10).  I am full of awe today as I write this…that God is always thinking about us, and cares about everything that concerns us (I Peter 5:7 LB).  I just had to give the Lord another Praise, and speak out in His behalf, because I had a Heart Catheterization test yesterday because of some severe pains in my chest that I had recently experienced.  It was the “definitive” test…as it shows all the chambers of the heart (through dye being inserted through the groin artery), and also checks the rhythms of the heart, etc.  It was quite a procedure, and my back had recently been dealing me havoc because of a severe muscle spasm that required muscle relaxers, pain meds, and prednisone.  I am here to attest to the fact that I made it through the test just fine (in fact, I slept almost ALL the way through it because of some med they gave  me intravenously).  The outcome was what I wanted to share with you…NO BLOCKAGES IN ANY OF MY HEART ARTERIES!  It has been 11 years since an attempted stem-cell transplant failed (in order to “beat” the Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma I had been battling for 6 years before that), so I am proof that we will be here until our allotted time.  The Bible says in Psalms 139:13-16 LB, that God watched us being formed in our mother’s womb, and has our days numbered in His book.  I believe it.  Don’t “squirm” over Doctor’s pronouncements about your health and length of life.  GOD IS IN CONTROL!

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2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,900 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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