Aggression Rears Its Ugly Head–By Carole Norman Scott

Ben & his dad (Jay) in the swing at home.

Ben & his dad (Jay) in the swing at home.

Ben is having a really rough time right now…needing restraint, and generally NOT HAPPY! He has to have his big toenail removed next week due to an in-grown toenail and fungus. We need prayer that God will give all concerned wisdom and strength to endure (including peace for Ben). They are checking his Depakote & Tegretol levels, and the Psychological Examiner is going to talk to the Psychiatrist about the Keppra he’s on for seizures too. His hands and arms have tremors and they think one of these might be the culprit. He started the aggressiveness as soon as he went back from his birthday visit (and he was home for 8 days and did SO well).  My husband took him back, and when he was in Ben’s bedroom there putting some things away, Ben came into the room wild-eyed and pushed him (he’s 76), and he thankfully fell across Ben’s bed, but then bumped his head on the cement window sill. Ben has NEVER been aggressive with us or anyone here at home since he moved away so many years ago, but this scares us to bring him home again if he attacked even Jay (husband).  It dazed Jay at the time, and somehow, he was able to get around Ben and leave the living unit, but he had a 4 hour drive ahead of him.  He was pretty “shook up” when he got home (but DID get home safely)!  From Tulsa to Conway, AR…is 4 hours.  He had already driven 4 hours when this happened.  It was a scary experience, and he didn’t see it coming.  He’s had no bad after-effects—PTL!  I’m wondering if Ben somehow later realized what he had done, and is now upset about it, but that may not be the case at all.  I don’t think he pushed Jay because it was Jay…but when he gets in that state…it’s whoever’s in the way, so “WATCH OUT!”

Oh Lord, this opens a whole new problem…if Ben can’t come home for visits…how will we check on him, and what will become of him. We have been in a grieving mode (again, it’s almost like he’s died to us)…even yet knowing that GOD is in control, and has a plan that we just can’t see right now. God’s mercies are new every morning. Ben is 52 now, and we wonder if something new is going on in his body that he can’t tell us about. But, how does he stay calm at home if he can’t control it there? We are as puzzled now as we were 38 years ago when he had to move away from home. SO sorry if this is not encouraging to all reading…but it’s what’s happening. He would miss seeing relatives, going places — out to eat (and helping me with grocery shopping and fixing food at home), going to church, to the movies, and just being home and loved, etc. Oh Lord–have mercy on Ben and on all families dealing with autism. It is SO grievous, and SO hard to find the right help. Only YOU know what all it entails, and we beseech You to help us ALL in our hour of need–Hebrews 4:14-16 “For we have not a High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” PS He just may NOT want to be at his Living Facility, but this lets us know for SURE that if we brought him home for long periods of time…we could NOT handle it if he got violent!  He was having trouble BEFORE he came home too!



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