Aggression Rears Its Ugly Head–By Carole Norman Scott–7/22/14

Ben & his dad (Jay) in the swing at home.

Ben & his dad (Jay) in the swing at home

Ben is having a really rough time right now…needing restraint, and generally NOT HAPPY! He has to have his big toenail removed next week due to an in-grown toenail and fungus. We need prayer that God will give all concerned wisdom and strength to endure (including peace for Ben). They are checking his Depakote & Tegretol levels, and the Psy. Examiner is going to talk to the Psychiatrist about the Keppra he’s on for seizures too. His hands and arms have tremors and they think one of these might be the culprit. He started the aggressiveness as soon as he went back from his birthday visit (and he was home for 8 days and did SO well).  My husband took him back, and when he was in Ben’s bedroom there putting some things away, Ben came into the room wild-eyed and pushed him (he’s 76), and he thankfully fell across Ben’s bed, but then bumped his head on the cement window sill. Ben has NEVER been aggressive with us or anyone here at home since he moved away so many years ago, but this scares us to bring him home again if he attacked even Jay (husband).  It dazed Jay at the time, and somehow, he was able to get around Ben and leave the living unit, but he had a 4 hour drive ahead of him.  He was pretty “shook up” when he got home (but DID get home safely)!  From Tulsa to Conway, AR…is 4 hours.  He had already driven 4 hours when this happened.  It was a scary experience, and he didn’t see it coming.  He’s had no bad after-effects—PTL!  I’m wondering if Ben somehow later realized what he had done, and is now upset about it, but that may not be the case at all.  I don’t think he pushed Jay because it was Jay…but when he gets in that state…it’s whoever’s in the way, so “WATCH OUT

Oh Lord, this opens a whole new problem…if Ben can’t come home for visits…how will we check on him, and what will become of him. We have been in a grieving mode (again, almost like he’s dead to us)…even yet knowing that GOD is in control, and has a plan that we just can’t see right now. God’s mercies are new every morning. Ben is 52 now, and we wonder if something new is going on in his body that he can’t tell us about. But, how does he stay calm at home if he can’t control it there? We are as puzzled now as we were 38 years ago when he had to move away from home. SO sorry if this is not encouraging to all reading…but it’s what’s happening. He would miss seeing relatives, going places — out to eat (and helping me with grocery shopping and fixing food at home), going to church, to the movies, and just being home and loved, etc. Oh Lord–have mercy on Ben and on all families dealing with autism. It is SO grievous, and SO hard to find the right help. Only YOU know what all it entails, and we beseech You to help us ALL in our hour of need–Hebrews 4:14-16 “For we have not a High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” PS He just may NOT want to be at his Living Facility, but this lets us know for SURE that if we brought him home for long periods of time…we could NOT handle it if he got violent!  He was having trouble BEFORE he came home too!

About autism45

I am the mother of a fifty-nine year old autistic son. My blog, autism45, contains journals, poems, pictures, photography, letters, and other writings and insights pertaining to autism and the spiritual growth we (my husband and I) have experienced from it all. I hope you will visit my blog, and benefit from all I have shared...all that has happened through the years. Take your time, and come back again and again. God bless you and yours!
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7 Responses to Aggression Rears Its Ugly Head–By Carole Norman Scott–7/22/14

  1. mewhoami says:

    It did! Thank you.


  2. autism45 says:

    I am blessed if it ministered to you!


  3. mewhoami says:

    My son is only 15, but I am very interested in reading your posts and for the enlightening information you have shared. Even with all you’re going through, I love the faith you exhibit here in this first post I’ve read of yours. God has a plan! Keep your faith. That’s our hope. We can never lose that.


  4. autism45 says:

    Stacy, thank you SO much for your input about the medications. That is most helpful! This epilepsy is not to be trifled with. I have only observed 3 small seizures in Ben while at home…but it was still VERY scary (as we didn’t know if it would go into something worse), and he has had grand mal seizures at his living facility…one lasting 10 minutes…which sent him to the hospital. That was when they added Keppra to the Tegretol and Depakote he was already on. It seems to all be a viscious circle…these meds. One is given to help, and another they are already on can counter-act. I pray God’s mercies on you, your husband, and your precious daughter. Ben was 13 when he moved away from home…the hardest thing I’ve EVER had to do in my life. I pray that never becomes a need in your lives…but if it should, though sad and VERY difficult..God will go before you and sustain you through it. I can attest to that! God bless you!


  5. Stacy Bartik says:

    Hi Carole: I came upon your blog while searching for scripture to help parents living with children with autism. You mentioned Keppra. My daughter, who is almost 9, is also a child not only with autism, but epilepsy. When we first got her epilepsy diagnosis, back in May 2010, Keppra was the first thing the neurologist put her on. I will tell you that she turned into a lunatic. The medication was so bad for her that at one point my husband said to me, “We just may have to put her somewhere if this doesn’t get better.” I told him “Over my dead body…”. Needless to say, we took her off Keppra the next day. I tell you this because the Keppra may be making your son’s symptoms worse. She was put on Depakote and it’s been the best (I say that almost sarcastically because no long term med is “the best”!) for her, since August 2010. She is still taking Depakote today, with a quarter of a tablet of Clonidine, to calm her behaviors.

    I would look closely at the Keppra….We also tried Rispidol and didn’t like that either (she has self-injurious behaviors). I can’t remember why. However the Clonidine helps even her out, but it isn’t a long lasting med or one that builds up in the system.

    I’m glad I stumbled across your blog. It’s so interesting to see how special needs children were taken care of back in the 70’s. God bless you and the trail you’ve blazed for parents dealing with autism today! Stacy B.


  6. autism45 says:

    Thank you SO much Susan. I will add you and your beautiful little girl to my prayer list for autism, and give her a hug from me–OK? You have brightened my day by commenting such encouraging words. God bless you richly!


  7. Susan says:

    Prayers said for you and your family. My heart goes out to all of you. Reading your blog has been a blessing to me – I am the mother of a 2 year old beautiful girl with autism. Her problems have brought me back to God and it is so encouraging to read about your journey of faith. Please continue to share the triumphs and setbacks as you are able. Your posts are encouraging because of your faith in the face of difficulties, not just your acknowledgement of His hand when things are going well. God bless all of you and thank you for opening up your lives so others can be blessed.


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