These words tell exactly how I felt when I was dealing with the grief of discovering that I had a handicapped child.  My faith at that time was based on my “head-knowledge” of Jesus because I had gone to Church all my life, and believed everything I knew to believe.  I was trusting in all I knew at the time.

  I felt:

 DELIGHTED as I prepared for the baby.

 DECEIVED by God at having a handicapped child.

 DISILLUSIONED with life…DESPERATE.

 DESTROYED by DISAPPOINTMENT.

 DEPRIVED of what was rightfully mine.

 More than DISCOURAGED—I was DEPRESSED.

 I felt DESERTED by God, friends, and family.

 I was DESOLATE — DEADENED — DEBILITATED.

 I felt DESTRUCTIVE toward myself or the baby.

 My Spirits DETERIORATED.

  I was DEVASTATED — Felt “this can’t be happening to me!”

  I thought I might be DEVIATE.

  I was almost DEVOID of feeling — except for guilt.

  My mind had DEVILISH thoughts.

  I felt DETRIMENTAL to all–was DEFENSIVE as to the cause.

  I became DEMANDING of a cure.

  I was DETERMINED to find help for my baby.

  I found I may have to be my own DETECTIVE.

  I knew I needed to be DEPENDABLE.

  I felt DEMOTED in the “World of Mothers”!

  I also felt DELAYED and DETOURED in my life’s goals…        

I thought, I won’t be DETERRED, I will survive DESPITE the odds! I didn’t know if I would ever be a DEVOTED mother, but was sure at the time, I would never be DEVOUT towards God again.   

But, after I asked Jesus into my heart and got into the Bible myself, I was able to claim its promises.  The Holy Spirit changed me from the inside out.  I was then able to describe that experience in more positive terms.                   

  I was CONVICTED and CONTRITE.

  My joy in the Lord was CONTAGIOUS.

  I felt CONTENTED, CONFIDENT, and COMFORTED.

  That was much in CONTRAST to my former CONFLICT.

   I was now CONTROLLED by the Holy Spirit.

   I was COMFORTABLE in God’s presence through CONFESSED sin.

   Jesus’ death and resurrection for me personally, was the CONTRIBUTING     factor.

   I was now COMPLETE and CONFORMABLE.

   Jesus was now my CONSTANT COMPANION.

   I WAS COMPLIANT and COMPOSED.

   I could now CONCENTRATE on what CONCERNED others.

   I was more CONSIDERATE of them.

   I was now free to be a CONSOLING and CONSTRUCTIVE force.

   I no longer felt CONDEMNED.

   My CONDITION was accepted through CHRIST.

   I was now more than a CONQUEROR, since being CONVERTED.

   I could now praise the Lord, and be COMPLIMENTARY of His love and CARING in my life.

   I no longer felt like I was CONVALESCING.

   I could CONSCIENTIOUSLY thank God for His CONTROL and CONSISTENCY in my life.