By: Carole Norman Scott
These words tell exactly how I felt when I was dealing with the grief of discovering that I had a handicapped child. My faith at that time was based on my “head-knowledge” of Jesus because I had gone to Church all my life, and believed everything I knew to believe. I was trusting in all I knew at the time.
I felt:
DELIGHTED as I prepared for the baby.
DECEIVED by God at having a handicapped child.
DISILLUSIONED with life…DESPERATE.
DESTROYED by DISAPPOINTMENT.
DEPRIVED of what was rightfully mine.
More than DISCOURAGED—I was DEPRESSED.
I felt DESERTED by God, friends, and family.
I was DESOLATE — DEADENED — DEBILITATED.
I felt DESTRUCTIVE toward myself or the baby.
My Spirits DETERIORATED.
I was DEVASTATED — Felt “this can’t be happening to me!”
I thought I might be DEVIATE.
I was almost DEVOID of feeling — except for guilt.
My mind had DEVILISH thoughts.
I felt DETRIMENTAL to all–was DEFENSIVE as to the cause.
I became DEMANDING of a cure.
I was DETERMINED to find help for my baby.
I found I may have to be my own DETECTIVE.
I knew I needed to be DEPENDABLE.
I felt DEMOTED in the “World of Mothers”!
I also felt DELAYED and DETOURED in my life’s goals…
I thought, I won’t be DETERRED, I will survive DESPITE the odds! I didn’t know if I would ever be a DEVOTED mother, but was sure at the time, I would never be DEVOUT towards God again.
But, after I asked Jesus into my heart and got into the Bible myself, I was able to claim its promises. The Holy Spirit changed me from the inside out. I was then able to describe that experience in more positive terms.
I was CONVICTED and CONTRITE.
My joy in the Lord was CONTAGIOUS.
I felt CONTENTED, CONFIDENT, and COMFORTED.
That was much in CONTRAST to my former CONFLICT.
I was now CONTROLLED by the Holy Spirit.
I was COMFORTABLE in God’s presence through CONFESSED sin.
Jesus’ death and resurrection for me personally, was the CONTRIBUTING factor.
I was now COMPLETE and CONFORMABLE.
Jesus was now my CONSTANT COMPANION.
I WAS COMPLIANT and COMPOSED.
I could now CONCENTRATE on what CONCERNED others.
I was more CONSIDERATE of them.
I was now free to be a CONSOLING and CONSTRUCTIVE force.
I no longer felt CONDEMNED.
My CONDITION was accepted through CHRIST.
I was now more than a CONQUEROR, since being CONVERTED.
I could now praise the Lord, and be COMPLIMENTARY of His love and CARING in my life.
I no longer felt like I was CONVALESCING.
I could CONSCIENTIOUSLY thank God for His CONTROL and CONSISTENCY in my life.